Breakups are never easy, they hurt like hell and you can’t help but hate how they make you feel. You watch everything you both shared together slowly or rapidly fade. You feel the love and connection slip away sometimes through the coldness in their tones, the distance in their texts and the neglect. Most times you don’t get an explanation or closure, you’re lucky if you do, some get ghosted. Or the closure you get makes you angry,
Sometimes you get closure with yourself cause you’ve been robbed of it and there’s nothing you can do but “man” up and move on. And while you’re still holding on and wondering what’s happening, they’ve either found and fallen in love with someone else or not. It can be incredibly painful.
It’s important to be kind to anyone you call your partner and people in general, if you lose interest in someone the best thing to do is make them aware, will it hurt? yes but it’ll be a better thing to do. The betrayal, the coldness towards them, the neglect and every other thing hurts more than the truth. It’s essential that when you have this conversation with them, empathize with them and don’t invalidate their feelings, allow them express themselves, it’s very understandable for them to feel hurt and question themselves. Offer them closure and clarity, tell them that they deserved to be loved by someone who would love them like they deserve and you’re not that person.
I've heard conversations, seen posts about remaining friends after a breakup happens and it really comes down to how things ended between them. It's not obligatory to be friends with people who hurt you, took your love for granted and ruined your life. If you hurt someone and they refuse to remain friends with you then you can't blame them, you don't hurt people and get to control their reactions or decisions.
Even if things ended on positive notes, some people still choose not to remain friends and it’s probably because one person still has lingering feelings or they just don’t want to which is okay. It’s hard to maintain being friends when one person has moved on and their actions show that, but the other is still in their feelings. Nobody wants to put themselves through watching the person you once loved fall in love with another person while they’re still trying to get over them and being there as a "friend".
Personally I've been friends with most people I've fallen out of love with, because occasionally it worked okay for me. The moment it no longer favors me, I remove myself from the friendship situation. If Muting, deleting, unfollowing and blocking will help you then do it. Sometimes you both need space and time before you can approach each other about being friends. If you want to remain friends it's best you set healthy boundaries, let them know it's just friendship not rekindling the relationship. And bear in mind things will never be the same. If their offer for being friends isn't genuine and you notice, it's best you cut them off and stay away from them.
In some situations, people end up being better friends than lovers, other times a healthy relationship can turn to an unhealthy friendship. It's a hard and personal decision to make and maintain. It's not an easy transition going from lovers to friends, it's wise you do what's best for you. There's no magic formula to this. You don't have to feel pressured into accepting a friendship with your ex, if it's going to take a toll on you or your mental health.
If you don't feel comfortable being friends, you can decide to keep your distance if it makes you feel better especially when you're yet to heal from the hurt, and there's still a bit of resentment, it doesn't make you an immature or a bitter person. Becoming friends after breakups can hinder people from moving on, and i know everyone intends to heal and move on after a breakup. So staying friends may not be the best choice for everyone. There's a saying that goes "you will not heal by going back to what broke you". You can let go , heal, forgive them and still deny access. If someone decides not to still be in touch or be friends, it's important to respect their decisions.
People come into our lives for different reasons, some come into our lives to teach us lessons, help us grow and even help us know how to love. Everyone won’t stay in your lives forever so embrace every beautiful moments you’ve shared with anyone. A breakup is not always a bad thing because sometimes letting go does more good than holding on. Breakups are not just for lovers only, friendship breakups happen and they’re equally painful. Some friendships do not remain the same after breakups too.
It’s very paramount to be respectful before, during and after the breakup. I hope we meet kind partners or friends. And we’re also kind partners or friends to others.
